Sonia’s Story….

Sonia’s Story….

Our story begins on September 1st 2012. The day started much like any other, with Sonia heading off to work at a well known frozen food store. Sonia was a busy lady, holding down a hectic job and being mum to her beautiful children. Days whizzed by in a blur of work, cooking, cleaning, love and laughter. But on that day, as Sonia took off her shoes after work, something halted her in her tracks. 

Sonia enjoying her birthday with her workmates.

On the side of her foot was a lump. Something she hadn’t noticed before, and was concerned enough to visit her doctor about. An ultrasound scan revealed the lump to be some form of tumour, that originated at Sonia’s ankle. When within a week the tumour more than tripled in size the doctor decided it best to have it removed. Surgery was scheduled. It was to be a simple routine procedure. The tumour was a none cancerous ganglion and there was nothing to worry about. 

Little did Sonia know that this procedure would change her life so completely. 

September 17th, surgery day. As soon as the anaesthetic wore off Sonia knew something was amiss. 

My foot was on fire, and yet it was as cold as ice! – Sonia

She needed to get the bandages off, she couldn’t stand the pain a second longer! Almost immediately her foot swelled to such and extent that the brand new stitches burst, leaving her with a gruesome open wound! Of course she headed back to the doctors for the first of many visits. The wound was washed and cared for, helped to heal. But still the pain persisted. Nobody knew what was wrong. Doctors were left scratching their heads. Within a month Sonia was unable to move her toes at all from the unexplained pain. 

Two weeks and three days after surgery Sonia’s still swollen foot and open wound was still nowhere near healed.

Fast forward eight months and Sonia was finally given some answers after seeking help from a specialist. It was CRPS – Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Not only that, but she had CRPS Type 2. The type that, unlike type 1, does not go into remission. 

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Type 2 (CRPS Type 2) is a severely painful response to a peripheral nerve injury. CRPS Type 2 is characterized by severe, burning pain affecting a specific area as a result of the nerve injury. RSDguide.com

Not one to take things lying down Sonia immediately hit the Internet. Desperately trying to find information about this new hurdle that had blocked her path in life. Surely there was something she could do?  But everything she could find described Type 1. What little there was about the type she was suffering was sparse and often ill informed. So, as the doctors prescribed her with drug after drug to try and help her symptoms, Sonia began to write. She wrote page after page of diaries. Her symptoms, her moods, her feelings. Anything and everything in the hope it could one day help someone. 

The CRPS caused Sonia to feel she had completely lost who she once was. Known as the ‘Suicide disease’; the pain often left her wishing she hadn’t woken up that morning. Life just became too much and it wasn’t long before Sonia was unable to work. Socialising also went out the window, as did just about every aspect of the life she once new. The only constant now being the love of her beautiful children and never ending crippling pain. 

Over seven months after surgery and the swelling is glaringly apparent. This photo was taken after four hours of having her foot raised.

Sonia’s foot swelled to almost unbelievable sizes on a daily, if not hourly basis. Taking an age to reduce back in size, never really resembling normal. It burns constantly whilst at the same time feeling freezing cold. Remember the Ice Bucket Challenge? Imagine putting your foot inside that bucket of ice until it was so cold you had freezer burn. Imagine never being able to take it out again. You might just be getting close to the horror Sonia goes through on a daily basis with CRPS. 

It’s been four years since she has been able to bathe or maintain her foot herself. Even bedclothes touching it is excruciating. A simple toenail trim involves a trip to hospital and anaesthetic, otherwise it’s just too painful. Information online indicates that CRPS type 2 doesn’t spread, but that’s not the case. Sonia now has pain in her left foot, knee and hip. It’s also spread to her threat, right ear and right eye. She has been bedbound for over three years due to the severity of her symptoms. 

Many doctors say that scripture tells them it doesn’t spread. Sorry, but myself and hundreds of other CRPS Survivors can prove different. Yes we call ourselves survivors because CRPS is also known as “The Suicide Disease”. And I can understand why! – Sonia 

By July 2013 the constant battle with her body had become too much for Sonia. Though she loved her children desperately she felt she wasn’t strong enough to go on any longer. Hiding away her Morphine and CoCodamol tablets, she planned to take her life on July 13th. 

But once again, life has other plans for Sonia. 

On July 11th she received a call from her eldest daughter. She was at an antenatal class that day, pregnant with her first child. Sonia thought she was calling to talk about the morning sickness that had dogged her throughout the pregnancy, but today’s call was about something altogether more urgent. Her daughter was about to be rushed in for an emergency C section. The pregnancy had taken a dramatic turn and it was operate now or risk life of both mum and baby! 

Luckily, everything went well and nine weeks early Sonia’s beautiful granddaughter entered into the world. Named Scarlett, she was absolutely perfect! Not only that, but she was a wonderful reason to keep fighting, a reason to live! Sonia believes that Scarlett arrived early to save her; and seeing their close bond, it’s not hard to believe that’s the case. 

Baby Scarlett looking beautiful.

Sonia threw herself into making clothes for her tiny premature granddaughter, soon realising she had a clear talent. Soon Scarlett had plenty to kit her out, so Sonia went on to make things for other tiny babies. Always thinking of others, she had noted a clear lack of clothes for premature babies on the market, and what there was was very expensive. Not ideal for families who are likely already spending a lot of money to be able to spend time with a baby in hospital. 

She set up a Facebook page, and things just grew from there! Eventually Sonia branched out, learning to make jewellery when she came into some jewellery making kit unexpectedly. She loved it, and better still so did her youngest daughter! For a mum who had lost so much time with her children, it was great to find a passion they could enjoy together. Another page was born S & J Crafting Creations, where Sonia and her daughter could sell their wares. 

Whilst their page was relatively new Sonia saw an advert for Conscious Crafties a sales platform for disabled people and their carers. Immediately she got in touch and just like that she became the first EVER crafty! Within a week of joining she became friends with the Founder, Karen Thomas, and has been of invaluable help to her ever since. 

A selection of products in Sonia’s shop.

That was a year ago, and Sonia cannot believe how far she has come. Not only does she have her own business, but she has another purpose! One more reason to live! Sonia’s business is flourishing. Her motto is ‘Giving the gift of a smile!’ That’s exactly what she aims to do. 

Right now only Sonia’s arms and hands that work. So she crafts all day every day whilst she still can, she will not be beaten nor will she give up! Sonia is a fighter in the truest sense of the word, and if I could have one wish this Christmas it would be to allow her to continue with her passion for as long as she could wish for. She deserves it!

To visit Sonia’s shop please CLICK HERE.

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Jaymee’s Battle.

Jaymee’s Battle.

Our story begins when Jaymee became a mother, at the age of twenty. Soon after she was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression, a fairly common problem that many mothers face. As is so often the case, Jaymee was given antidepressants and sent on her way. But Jaymee knew deep down something wasn’t right. Months passed, and she didn’t improve. Those months turned into years and still Jaymee was no better. During this time the doctors tried many different tablets, but none of them worked. The only thing Jaymee gained from the medication was a detachment from her feelings, a numbness to life.  This feeling (or lack of it) enveloped her, it became her new normal. Her coping mechanism to get through the endless days of feeling broken inside.


Around 2013 Jaymee got to the point where she lost herself completely, she had a complete mental breakdown. The medication she had been on had only delayed the inevitable. She describes herself as “high as a kite one minute, the next (she) was the lowest (she’d) ever been”. Jaymee was thrill seeking, and taking crazy risks, with no consideration for those around her. Yes, she admits she had fun at first, but there comes a point when the fun stops and all you’re left with is emptiness and regret. It’s not fun anymore when you’re constantly hurting those who love you. You’d think that being a mother would help put things into perspective, but alas it didn’t. She couldn’t see beyond her own selfish desires. Looking back it was a very dark time in her life, though at the time she didn’t realise.  

Jaymee says, “This is a place I don’t want to go back to.  It was awful. I hurt and blamed the ones who loved me, pushed away people who cared.”

Along the way Jaymee was unkind to herself as well as her family and friends. She had completely lost herself, to the point she wasn’t even Jaymee anymore. It felt as though her head just wouldn’t work how she needed it to. She was lost, adrift in a sea of confusion and extreme emotion. Eventually she snapped. Everything came crashing down and Jaymee could cope no longer. Desperate for help she did something “really stupid and regrettable”,  and though she wishes it had never come to that, she did finally get the attention of her doctors. After years of them just telling her it’s depression, here’s a tablet;  they finally took noticed and realised there may be something more going on. 

Jaymee was referred to a Psychological unit. Finally she had been guided onto a path, instead of wandering aimlessly lost through life. She remembers how the first thing they considered was Bipolar Disorder, but it wasn’t that. She remembers how it took a whole year of doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists analysing her to finally get an answer. A year of being watched, evaluated, pried into. A year of waiting, stressing and wondering. It was not easy to go through, but it was worth it. Because eventually Jaymee got her diagnosis. Her label. 

Jaymee has Borderline Personality Disorder. The symptoms of this are wide ranging and can easily be mistaken for other things, such as depression. But BPD is completely different, and as such will not respond well to the tablets Jaymee had previously tried. Mind describes Personality Disorders as being a type of mental health problem where your attitudes, beliefs and behaviours cause you longstanding problems in your life.

Being diagnosed didn’t make all Jaymees problems go away, but it did help her to understand herself a lot better, to start being kinder to herself. Her diagnosis meant she was able to explain to the people she loved why she behaves in the way she does. It helped her learn to accept herself again, and take some control back. She was finally put on medication that had been properly tailored to her needs. Medication that actually helped. But even more importantly she was given a team of people to support her, and guide her through learning to live with her new label. She had counselling and went on courses to help her manage her emotions.

The journey was just starting, and it was to be a long and difficult one. Getting a diagnosis, a label on your back, does not automatically make things easy. There were many bumps in the road, and Jaymee almost gave up on herself so many times. But she didn’t, she caught hard and she’s still here today, stronger than ever before. 

Last year Jaymees life took another turn, tragedy struck and she lost her Father. The man she had worshipped and adored all her life. Such a cataclysmic event is enough for anyone to fall off their path in life, let alone someone with mental illness. But instead Jaymee did the opposite, she grasped her life in both hands and took back control entirely. Starting by coming off her medication. Now, Jaymee admits this was probably a rash decision, and it’s certainly not something she would recommend to others, but she knew it was something she needed to do. Jaymee needed to grieve for her father, to work through her pain and her loss, she knew this wouldn’t be possible for her on medication designed to dampen down extremes of emotion. Her doctors disapproved, but in the end it was her choice, not theirs. But she didn’t turn her back on all the things she had learned since her diagnosis. Jaymee took those skills and used them to get through life, facing one day at a time.

A year on and Jaymee hasn’t touched her medication again, and she’s feeling better than she has done in a long time. Finally she feels as though she’s found a part of herself again. Things are not easy, she still struggles from time to time, a diagnosis of BPD doesn’t just go away if you choose to stop taking your medication. But Jaymee is learning to live with it, with pride and a new sense of self worth. This has been one of the hardest battles she is ever likely to face, and she’s done it! Eight years, eight years was how long it took to get a diagnosis. Jaymee will never get those years of her life back, those years that should have been spent enjoying motherhood but instead were full of battles. Battles with herself, doctors, and those she loved. She knew in her heart all those years ago that Postnatal Depression didn’t fit with the way she was feeling. Jaymee knew the doctors weren’t doing all they could for her, and she often wonders how her life would have turned out if she had just shouted a little louder, pushed a little harder. 

If you are struggling with mental or emotional problems Jaymee has this message. “Please , please, don’t suffer in silence, seek help if you need it and keep going until you’re listened to. Mental Illness is not a weakness, from mine I found my strength”

Jaymee bravely decided to share her story on Facebook recently. Had she not many of her friends, myself included, would never have known of the struggles she’s faced. Mental Illness is perhaps one of the truest forms of invisible illness their is.  So easily hidden, and so often seen as taboo, people can be left helplessly floundering, battling their demons alone, for years on end. Jaymee says that if even one person can be helped by reading her story, then it was worth it to share. To Jaymee, I say thank you. Thank you for letting us in, and for trying to help those in need. I too hope your story helps others, I believe it will. 


If you are struggling with Mental Illness advice can be found at Mind.org. This post was adapted from Jaymees original Facebook post.