Since having my baby in October my treatment seems to have stalled. Well, I hope it’s just stalled. Ground to a devastating halt may be a more accurate description. By now I was supposed to be back on my mess and well on the way to being ‘better’, or as close as I get. Instead I’m confined to the house, and very often to my bed. I feel like a completely useless lump. A huge burden on my husband and kids. Let me tell you, it’s not a good feeling!
The annoying thing is, I could be on the road to health. I know who I need to see and what I need them to do. There is only one problem. My GP.
In general I’m very supportive of the medical profession. But this woman has me pulling my hair out. Quite literally. Mainly because she believes that I should be referred to my specialists one at a time. This is ridiculous. I have a multisystemic illness, it affects various different parts of my body simultaneously. To this end I need to see various different doctors for my care, including but not limited to cardiologist, neurologist, gastroenterologist, rheumatologist, gynaecologist and pain clinic. These doctors need to liaise with each other in order that treatments they give me don’t clash and so I can get the best healthcare plan.
But no. Not according to my GP. She believes that anything above two referrals is too many. That my problems can wait. She thinks I should let one doctor ‘sort me out’ before moving on to the next. But it doesn’t work like that. Each problem affects the other. They are all intrinsically linked, entwined through me like strangle weed throughout my body.
Imagine if you will a ship. In its hull are ten holes. The navigation system is on the blink and there’s a fire in the engine room. The ship is lost at sea. You could look at the issues one at a time. The holes first? One by one. But then the blaze has taken hold. So tackle that first? Now the boat is sinking. Surely the navigation system is last priority? But your boat has drifted so far you are in dangerous waters with not enough fuel to get home. Each problem is equal to the last. What the boat really needs is a team of people, each fighting to keep it afloat. Each working independently towards a shared goal of retrieving the situation.
I am that ship, and I’m trying to plug holes and put out fires as they come along. But I am one woman. I need my team, because right now I’m sinking. All I can hope is that I can make my GP listen and stop blocking me.